Fickle Heart
I find myself smiling every-time I read “ Joyas Voladoras” by Brian Doyle. The significance in a hummingbird's heart, a heartbeat so small, so delicately placed inside the chambers of an equally miniature creature who can rival that of a great whale. Whose heart can house that of a small child and can be as big as a room itself. Yet in comparison, they are all one and the same. Same in that they give more than confirmation that we are indeed living, more than confirmation that life itself is present, seeing, and breathing. It’s those consequential thoughts that make me love writing and thinking so much.
The heart itself is amazing. The strength of a pumping heart can create enough energy for a truck to drive over 20 miles. In a lifetime, that’s enough to drive from the moon and back. Gives a heartfelt meaning to the phrase, “I love you to the moon and back” when you realize someone is willing to love with all the blood their heart is capable of pumping in their entire lifetime. How beautiful is that?
The heart although so strong carries many heavy burdens. So much work, power, and focus all for a single breathe to keep the body, mind, and soul going. Going on for another day. People treat the heart as if it’s indestructible with time as if it gets stronger with each blow like a hammer to a nail. In truth, with each blow it grows soft, soft spots like a fruit that has gone bad or has had too many hands squeeze it and put it back down. The chest so heavy feels like an old swollen piece of fruit about to split open with wet rot, ready to bare itself to the world.
And yet it hasn’t, hasn’t broken to pieces, hasn’t bared itself like Brian Doyle writes, saying, “We are utterly open with no one in the end — not mother and father, not wife or husband, not lover, not child, not a friend.” How fickle the heart must be, strong in times of great despair and weakness, only to break and hide at thoughts and memories. Yet it is there, there for only you. It will be your best friend in times of doubt, and your greatest enemy when moments get too difficult and your lungs become stiff with air. Your heart will betray you, it will love you, but when moments matter it will be there. So be kind to your fickle heart because sometimes your biggest weakness can lead to your greatest strengths.